2012 HauntedNorthAmerica.net Riokaza
Fish scales gleam against the carved and patterned wood. The smells wafting from the street-side carts fraternize with the salty scent of the ocean, creating a new entity to dance with many strands of music forging their own paths amidst the air sustaining us. Atlantis.
I walk, buffeted by the heat of nearby forges and ever-present sea breezes, catching odd words and continuous tones from open doors leading to aged learners caught up in the thrill of sharing what they know. Crowds blur into a kaleidoscope of colors, with random characteristics coming into focus as I pass: a pair of large lips colored a dark red, a pair of brown eyes glancing up at the sun, short steps alongside long strides, booming voices blending with a multitude of murmurs. The tall sway scattered among the short, together like a moving tundra, its trees and grasses each straining to bridge the distance between them. Idly I trace the cool stone swirls and precise carvings of a familiar doorway and walk through. The flat paint scent is there but I barely smell it. I only have attention for the painting cloth stretched flat between two stones and my brush empty of pigment.
I wasn't able to get the text background to match that of the posts background which was really annoying, but I chose to put the image first to get a sense of place and futility for the story beginning before the picture. I chose the background because it seemed beachy/sea-like and it looked cool. The dark blue post background goes with the deep under the ocean theme, and the white text background is regrettable. The post background is the width that it is to allow the posts and the side archives room to breathe and the story itself is my attempt to keep the plot and characters vague for as long as possible.
ReplyDeleteThe post starts out with the sentence, “Fish scales gleam against the carved and patterned wood,” which immediately builds intrigue in the mind of the reader and draws more attention to the post. As the post goes on, we realize that the reader is in a place that is outside; maybe in the middle of a busy road since cars are mentioned. However, then the writer mentions doors and groups of people eager to learn. Is this place still outside? Where do the doors lead? The writer takes us among crowds of people, describing the kaleidoscope of colors but not giving more detail than that. We can hear the booming voices and the multiple murmurs as the author describes them and we touch the cool stone and carvings in the door as the reader walks inside the room to start painting. The way in which the writer paints a picture in the head of the reader proves great imagery in this post. However, the post leaves the reader with the desire for more detail. Adding more imagery would help guide the reader towards a more accurate representation. The kaleidoscope of colors paints a picture, but it may be one that may be different to the reader than what the writer is trying to describe. What colors were there? What did the people whispering seem to be whispering about? What does the flat paint smell like? How does the painting cloth feel on the fingers of the artist?
ReplyDeleteThe picture posted above the text shows underwater scenery, as if taken from inside a fish tank. If this is the place where the writer was, it is not depicted properly in the text. It was difficult to relate the image to the text, except when the writer describes fish scales in the beginning. The layout of the blog is a bit annoying on the eyes. The background is a sea foam green color, which matches great with the topic of the blog, but the blue background for the posts does not seem to go along with the other background and they clash in brightness and tint. The writer seems to have tried to match the text color for the title of the blog with the sea foam background, but the text color is much brighter, adding to the bright blue background. It seems as if the writer did not put much effort into the aesthetics of the blog, but focused on the text instead. Then again, the URL title is “grrthisassignment” which makes complete sense.